Connection > Correction: Why Relational DEI Still Matters

In a time when DEI is being quietly renamed, reframed, or removed altogether—what still connects us?

If you’ve been paying attention lately, you may have noticed that diversity, equity, and inclusion work has gotten quieter. Companies are stripping DEI from public-facing language, relabeling it under safer-sounding umbrellas like “belonging,” “culture,” or “employee engagement.” Some are cutting programs altogether.

But what happens when the acronym disappears—while the inequities remain?

Recently, TIME published an article titled “3 Steps Leaders Should Take in the Face of DEI Rollbacks.” It offered a refreshingly grounded reminder: even when the spotlight dims, the work continues—and it can’t rely on policies or programs alone.

As TIME put it, the next wave of DEI requires something deeper:

“Psychological safety. Vulnerability. Trust.”

That’s where Relational DEI comes in.

What Is Relational DEI?

A relational approach to diversity, equity, and inclusion doesn’t start with metrics. It starts with people.

According to Brandeis University’s Heller School, Relational DEI is:

“A relational approach to diversity, equity and inclusion [that] strives to develop relationships across difference … through love and compassion … Relationships of shared goals, shared knowledge and mutual respect create a culture that supports diversity, equity and inclusion.”

In simpler terms: policies don’t build culture. People do.

Relational DEI focuses on shared understanding, mutual respect, and connection as the foundation of change. It asks:

• How are people experiencing each other?

• What stories are we allowing into the room?

• Are we repairing harm or just branding over it?

From Loud to Quiet: The Changing Face of DEI

Over the years, I’ve watched a familiar pattern unfold across different organizations: one moment, diversity, equity, and inclusion are front and center. The next, they’re being rebranded, softened, or quietly set aside.

Sometimes the language changes—DEI becomes “employee experience,” “belonging,” or “culture.” Sometimes, the programs themselves disappear. Either way, the shift is subtle. Public statements fade. Internal updates go quiet. The acronym itself becomes… optional.

But here’s what I’ve learned: even when the language is scaled back, the need for inclusion doesn’t go away. And some of the most meaningful DEI work I’ve seen has happened in places where it wasn’t labeled as such at all.

It reminds me of something that happened years ago—long before I ever worked in DEI professionally. I was in an AOL chatroom (yes, that long ago), and ended up in a long, intense private conversation with someone who identified as part of a white supremacist group. I called it “Interview with a Racist”—and what started as a tense, even threatening exchange evolved into something else: a conversation about how we each came to see the world the way we did.

We didn’t agree. Not even close. But we stayed. We asked questions. We got uncomfortable. And by the end, we both walked away with a better understanding of the forces that shaped each of us.

That transcript was later used in a college course to spark dialogue around racism and hate groups. But what’s always stayed with me is the humanity of the moment—two people, wildly different, trying to understand. That’s relational DEI. And it doesn’t require a company initiative. It requires courage, discomfort, and the decision to stay in the conversation.

Relational DEI in Action

Relational DEI is already happening in workplaces—often in informal, undervalued ways. It looks like:

• A manager who starts 1:1s with “How are you really doing?”—and listens without defensiveness.

• A teammate who notices someone is constantly being talked over in meetings and steps in with “Let’s pause—I don’t think they were finished.”

• A Slack prompt that sparks honest conversation about identity, life experience, or insight—and makes someone feel less alone.

• A practice of making space for grief, celebration, culture, and curiosity—without turning it into a “DEI initiative.”

None of this requires an official title. But it does require intention.

What Happens Without It?

When relational DEI is missing, even the most well-funded programs fall flat. You get:

• Performative messaging with no follow-through.

• One “diverse” employee carrying the emotional labor for everyone.

• Tense silence in meetings where real talk should happen.

• Marginalized employees feeling like they can’t be human at work.

TIME calls it out directly:

“The absence of genuine, psychologically safe spaces prevents teams from reaching their full potential.”

In other words: you can’t strategize your way into inclusion. You have to relate your way into it.

Relational DEI Is the Path Forward

This isn’t about choosing between relationships and results. It’s about understanding that relationships are the result.

Relational DEI:

• Builds resilience during DEI rollbacks

• Creates culture that doesn’t rely on performance

• Shifts conversations from defensiveness to curiosity

• Opens space for repair, not just reaction

• Makes inclusion a shared responsibility—not a department

It also scales. One act of care—one moment of advocacy, one comment that affirms—can ripple through an organization.

A Personal Note

Years ago, I worked alongside someone who told me, plainly: “You’re the first person here who’s asked about my life outside of work.” That moment stopped me.

Not because I had said something profound, but because I had asked. Because I had listened. Because, maybe without realizing it, I had made room for more than just deliverables.

That, to me, is Relational DEI.

Not a program. Not a slide deck.

A pause. A presence. A pattern of care.

TL;DR: Relational DEI Is Not a Trend. It’s a Compass.

It’s easy to feel discouraged when DEI budgets shrink and language shifts. But we don’t have to wait for leadership buy-in to lead relationally. The most transformative inclusion work happens in the everyday—in conversations, not campaigns.

So let’s make space. Let’s ask better questions. Let’s build connection over correction.

If this resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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